Chapter 3: Fractured

Fear and desperation clung to my every breath as I gripped Hange's shirt tightly, my fingers digging deep into the fabric as if it was a lifeline. Tears streamed down my face, and my body shook with violent sobs. My eyes, red and puffy, were fixed on Hange's face, searching for a glimmer of reassurance. "I'm scared," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I'm so scared of being alone." The words tumbled out of my mouth like a confession, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I was usually strong, but now I was crumbling, and it was terrifying. Hange's expression softened, and they wrapped their arms around me, holding me close as I cried uncontrollably. I buried my face in their chest, and they stroked my hair, trying to calm me down. Their touch was gentle, but it was still too much for me. I flinched, and my body tensed, but they held me firmly, whispering soothing words in my ear. As I clung to them, my mind began to unravel further. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of fear, and I couldn't find a lifeline to cling to. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, and my emotions were in turmoil. I was trapped in a world of infantile terror, and I couldn't escape. Hange's voice was a gentle whisper in my ear, "It's okay, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." But I couldn't shake off the feeling of abandonment. I was convinced that they would leave me, just like everyone else. My fear of being alone was suffocating me, and I couldn't breathe. My grip on Hange's shirt tightened, and I buried my face deeper into their chest. They tried to comfort me, but I was beyond consolation. I was lost in a world of fear and anxiety, and I couldn't find my way out. My sobs grew louder, and my body shook with increasing intensity. Hange's grip on me tightened, and they whispered, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you." But I couldn't shake off the feeling of being utterly alone. My mind was a maze of fears and anxieties, and I couldn't find a way out. As I cried, my body began to relax, ever so slightly. Hange's warmth and comfort seeped into my bones, and I felt a tiny spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone. Maybe they could help me through this. But just as I started to feel a glimmer of reassurance, my mind would splinter off into dark corners, and I'd be back to square one. Fear and anxiety would overwhelm me, and I'd be convinced that I was all alone in the world. Hange held me for what felt like an eternity, trying to calm me down, trying to bring me back from the edge. And as they held me, I felt a tiny spark of trust ignite within me. Maybe, just maybe, they could help me through this after all.