**Chapter 1: Behind the Mask**

I cowered in the corner of the dimly lit room, my ears ringing from the cacophony of sounds that assaulted me from every direction. The hum of the fluorescent lights, the murmur of the Survey Corp members, the clang of metal on metal - it was all so overwhelming. I covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the chaos, but it only seemed to make it worse. My eyes, or rather, the empty sockets where my eyes used to be, felt like they were on fire. I had been blind since birth, but the darkness was a comforting familiarity, a sense of security in a world that was far too loud and bright. I was a mess of emotions, a tangled web of fears and anxieties that threatened to consume me at any moment. My autism spectrum disorder made every interaction, every sensation, a potential minefield of overwhelm and anxiety. I was like a newborn baby, mentally and emotionally, unable to cope with the complexities of the world around me. And to make matters worse, I was gay, and the only person I had ever loved was Hange, my beloved boyfriend and section commander of the Survey Corp. Hange was my rock, my safe haven in a world that seemed determined to hurt me. He was the only person who had ever seen my true face, my disfigured face that I kept hidden behind a mask. My father, in his abuse and neglect, had left me with a face that was not like others, and I had learned to hide it, to conceal it from the world. But Hange had seen it, and he had not run. He had not been scared. He had loved me, mask and all. But even with Hange by my side, I was scared. I was scared of being alone, of being abandoned like my father had abandoned me when I was just a baby. The separation anxiety was a constant companion, a nagging fear that whispered in my ear that I was not loved, that I was not wanted. And then, there were the bullies. The Survey Corp members who thought it was funny to tease me, to mock me, to try and get me to take off my mask. They did not understand, they did not get that my face was not just a physical deformity, but a source of deep pain and insecurity. Just then, I heard Hange's voice, a deep rumble that seemed to vibrate through my entire body. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he said, crouching down beside me. "I'm here. I've got you." I turned towards him, my ears still ringing, my heart still racing. He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I felt a wave of calm wash over me. For a moment, everything was okay. For a moment, I was safe. But as I looked up at Hange, I saw the concern etched on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "The others are being pretty rough today," he said, his eyes narrowing. "I'll take care of it, don't worry." I nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude towards him. He always took care of me, always stood up for me. And I knew that as long as he was by my side, I could face anything. But as I looked up at him, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. That something was coming, something that would threaten the fragile peace I had found with Hange. And I was scared, scared of what the future held, scared of what would happen to me, to Hange, to us.