Downward Spiral's Dark Side

The warm and fuzzy feeling that had settled in Taehyun's chest began to dissipate as the days went by, replaced by a sense of unease and guilt. He couldn't shake off the memory of the previous night's escapades, and the pills that Soobin had handed him. At first, he had tried to brush it off as a one-time thing, but as the days went by, he found himself thinking about it more and more. He started to rationalize, telling himself that it was just a way to cope with the stress and pressure of their grueling schedule. He convinced himself that he was in control, that he could handle it. But deep down, he knew he was lying to himself. It started with small things. He would take a pill before a show, just to calm his nerves. Or he would pop one after a particularly tough practice session, to help him relax. At first, it was just occasionally, but soon it became a regular thing. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't seem to stop. He felt like he was addicted, like he couldn't perform without them. He started to sneak around, taking the pills in secret. He would hide them in his room, or in his bag, always on the lookout for someone to catch him. Soobin, who had initially been the one to introduce him to the pills, seemed to have distanced himself from the situation. Taehyun would try to bring it up, but Soobin would brush it off, telling him that he was being paranoid. Taehyun wasn't sure if Soobin was still using, but he knew that he couldn't trust him to keep his secret. As the weeks went by, Taehyun's dependence on the pills grew. He started to feel like he was living a double life. On stage, he was the bright and bubbly Taehyun, but behind the scenes, he was struggling to keep his addiction under control. He knew it was only a matter of time before someone found out. He could feel the guilt and shame eating away at him, but he couldn't seem to stop. He was trapped in a vicious cycle, and he didn't know how to escape. One night, as he was getting ready for bed, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked tired and worn out, with dark circles under his eyes. He felt like he was losing himself, like he was disappearing into the darkness. He took a deep breath, and reached into his drawer. He pulled out a small bag, and emptied its contents onto the bed. The pills spilled out, a sea of white and pink and blue. He stared at them, feeling a mix of emotions. He knew he needed help, but he was too scared to ask for it. He was trapped, and he didn't know how to escape. The pills had become his crutch, his escape from reality. And he didn't know how to let go.