"A Lonely Burden"

I pushed the emotions away, shoving them deep down into a corner of my mind where I couldn't feel them. It was a fragile shield, but it was all I had right now. I had to focus on the practical things, like arranging Dally's funeral. As his last living blood relative, it all fell on me. I didn't let anyone help, not even my friends. I knew they wanted to, but I just couldn't. This was something I had to do alone. I spent the next few days on the phone, making arrangements with the funeral home, choosing a plot, and deciding on the service. It was all so overwhelming, but I pushed through, trying to stay numb. I didn't want to feel anything, not yet. As I walked through the crowded streets, I felt like I was in a daze. Everyone seemed to be staring at me, and I could sense their pity. I hated it. I just wanted to get through this, to get Dally buried and move on. The day of the funeral arrived, and I stood outside the church, my eyes fixed on the casket. It was a simple pine box, but it seemed so...final. I felt a pang in my chest, but I pushed it away. I couldn't afford to feel anything right now. The service was a blur of faces and voices, but I didn't really hear or see anything. I just stood there, my eyes fixed on the casket, trying to hold it all together. I felt like I was going to crack, to shatter into a million pieces, but I didn't. I just stood there, my shoulders squared, my heart numb. After the service, we walked to the cemetery, the sound of our footsteps echoing through the silence. I stood at the graveside, my eyes fixed on the casket as it was lowered into the ground. I felt a lump form in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I wouldn't cry. Not yet. As the graveside service ended, I turned and walked away, leaving the crowd behind. I didn't look back, didn't want to see the casket being buried. I just kept walking, my feet carrying me back to my car. I drove back to the house, my mind a jumble of emotions. I felt like I was going to explode, to burst into tears or screams or something. But I didn't. I just drove, my eyes fixed on the road ahead. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw my friends waiting for me. They were standing on the porch, their faces somber, their eyes filled with concern. I felt a pang of gratitude towards them, but I pushed it away. I didn't need their help. I could do this on my own. I walked up to the porch, my eyes fixed on the floor. "I'm fine," I said, my voice rough. "I just need to be alone." Darry stepped forward, his eyes filled with understanding. "We're here for you, kid," he said. "We know you can do this." But I just shook my head. "I need to do this alone," I said, my voice firm. And with that, I turned and walked away, leaving them behind.