The Depths of Despair

Regulus lay on the bed, his eyes fixed on the dark ceiling as he replayed the events of the previous night in his mind. He had thought he would feel ashamed, guilty, and angry, but instead, he felt...different. A strange sense of calm washed over him, and he couldn't help but think about how much he had enjoyed being used by Crabbe. At first, Regulus had been horrified by his own reaction. He had tried to convince himself that it was just a fluke, that he was only trying to survive, but deep down, he knew that wasn't true. He had felt a thrill of excitement, a rush of adrenaline, as Crabbe had taken control of him. It was as if he had been waiting his whole life for someone to take charge, to show him what to do. As he thought about it more, Regulus realized that he had been craving this kind of connection, this kind of intimacy, for a long time. He had always been the one in control, the one who made the rules, but with Crabbe, he had been able to let go, to surrender to someone else's desires. Regulus's mind was racing with conflicting emotions. Part of him was terrified of what this meant, of what he had become. But another part of him, a part that he couldn't ignore, was excited, eager to explore this new side of himself. He thought back to his conversation with Sirius and James, and how he had felt suffocated by their attempts to control him. But with Crabbe, it was different. Crabbe didn't care about Regulus's feelings or well-being; he only cared about using him for his own pleasure. And Regulus, to his surprise, had enjoyed it. As the darkness began to recede, Regulus felt a sense of clarity wash over him. He knew what he wanted, what he needed. He needed to be used, to be taken, to be controlled. And he knew just the person to turn to. With a newfound sense of purpose, Regulus got out of bed and began to get dressed. He knew that he would have to face Crabbe again, and he was eager to see where this new dynamic would take him. The darkness that had once seemed so overwhelming now felt like a warm, comforting blanket, and Regulus knew that he was ready to take the next step into the unknown.