Reflections

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, wincing at the awkward angles of my face. My brown hair was a mess, tangled from sleep, and my green eyes looked tired. I rubbed the dark circles under them, feeling like I was still half asleep. My birthday was just a few weeks away – eighteen, a milestone, a supposed marker of adulthood. But I didn't feel grown. Not when I still flinched at my own reflection, still overthought every word, still hadn't really lived. I turned eighteen in a few weeks, but the thought didn't fill me with excitement or anticipation. Instead, it only made me feel more anxious. What was I supposed to be doing with my life? I felt like I was still figuring things out, still trying to find my place in the world. And relationships, especially with guys, were a complete mystery to me. My family wasn't exactly the poster child for healthy relationships. My parents were always busy, my siblings were loud and obnoxious, and my cousins... well, they were a mixed bag. Carter, my older cousin, was the loudest and most boisterous of them all. He was like a wrecking ball, crashing through life with his fists and his foul mouth and his short temper. But despite all that, he was protective of me in his own twisted way. He'd make fun of me constantly, call me names, but God help anyone else who tried it. I thought back to all the times Carter had been there for me, even if it didn't always feel like it. He'd always been the one to push me around, to tease me mercilessly, but he'd also been the one to defend me when others tried to do the same. It was a complicated relationship, one that I didn't always understand. As I got dressed and headed downstairs, the sounds of the household assaulted me – my mom yelling at my dad, my siblings arguing over who got to control the TV remote, and Carter... well, Carter was just being Carter, loud and boisterous as always. I slipped into the chaos, trying to avoid eye contact, trying to blend into the background. It was what I did best – being quiet, being invisible. But sometimes, when I thought no one was looking, I'd catch Carter watching me, his expression softening for just a second before he covered it up with his usual sneer. I wondered what he'd be like if he weren't so tough all the time. Would he be kind, gentle, and understanding? Or was that just a fantasy, a product of my own naivety? As I poured myself a bowl of cereal, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window reflection – a quiet, awkward girl, trying to navigate a loud and rough world. I felt like I was just going through the motions, waiting for something to change, waiting for someone to notice me. Little did I know, change was on the horizon, in the form of a new guy on Carter's construction crew – a guy named Adrian, with a crooked grin and a dead-serious stare that made my heart skip a beat. I'd heard whispers about him, about how tough he was, about how he could keep up with Carter's antics. But I hadn't seen him yet, hadn't met him. For now, I was just a ghost, hovering on the sidelines of life, unsure of myself and my place in the world. But as I looked at my reflection, I knew that I couldn't stay hidden forever. It was time to start living, to start being more than just background noise. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, a mix of excitement and fear. What would the future hold? And what would I do when it finally arrived?