**Chapter 1: Echoes of Abandonment**

The fluorescent lights above hummed like a swarm of bees, piercing through my eardrums and making my head throb. I covered my ears with my hands, but the sound only seemed to intensify, like a scream in my mind. I was a tiny boat on a stormy sea, helpless and lost. My eyes, though blind, felt like they were drowning in a sea of darkness, searching for a lifeline that never came. As I sat in my wheelchair, my fingers drummed against the armrest, a staccato beat that echoed the turmoil inside me. My mind was a jumble of thoughts, but one thread kept pulling me under: the ache of abandonment. My dad had left me when I was just a newborn, and the pain still lingered, a festering wound that refused to heal. Severe autism spectrum disorder had made my world a cacophony of sensations, each one amplified to excruciating degrees. The air was thick with stimuli, and I felt like I was drowning in it all. The soft rustle of clothes, the gentle hum of the air conditioner, the sweet scent of shampoo – it was all too much. My brain reeled, desperate for a respite. That's when I regressed. My body began to shrink, my mind unraveling like a thread pulled from a sweater. I felt myself becoming smaller, younger, until I was a newborn again, helpless and scared. My thoughts dissolved into babbling incoherence, and I began to whimper, a high-pitched sound that was both pitiful and heartbreaking. But I wasn't alone. Hange, my beloved boyfriend, was by my side. At 6ft 10in tall, he towered over me, his veiny hands a gentle cradle for my fragile form. His six-pack abs, a topography of muscle and sinew, were my happy place, a source of comfort that I returned to again and again. I loved to rub against them, feeling the ridges and grooves like a tactile map of safety. As I regressed, Hange's voice became a warm bath, soothing and calming. "Shh, baby," he cooed, his words a gentle lullaby. "Daddy's here. I've got you." He pretended to be my father, a role he played with such conviction that I began to believe it. His arms wrapped around me, a cocoon of warmth and security, and I felt myself begin to heal. The storm raging inside me began to subside, replaced by a sense of peace, of belonging. As I looked up at Hange, my eyes may have been blind, but I saw him with perfect clarity. He was my dragon emperor, my yakuza king, and my high school football team's captain – a multifaceted hero who loved me for who I was, regression and all. And I knew, in that moment, that I was loved, that I was safe, and that Hange would always be there to catch me when I fell. But as I basked in the warmth of his love, a nagging sense of unease whispered in my ear: what lay ahead? What challenges would we face, and how would we overcome them? Only time would tell, but for now, I was content to be in Hange's arms, surrounded by the comfort of his love.