**Ho Ho No: A Christmas Capper in Chicago**

Prompt: Joe Donavan a Chicago police officer gets dispatched to a breaking and entering call when he gets on scene seeing the burglar dressed as Santa Claus he decides to have some with dispatch and asks them if they have any reports from North Pole pd about any recently released burgalars

The call came in just after midnight, a breaking and entering at a small apartment building on the far north side of Chicago. Officer Joe Donavan, a seasoned member of the Chicago PD, was no stranger to bizarre disturbances, but this one had a special flair. As he pulled up to the scene, winter snowflakes danced in the streetlights, and festive decorations flickered on the nearby buildings. It was Christmas Eve, and while most citizens were snug in their beds, he was prepared to face whatever awaited him. Upon stepping out of his squad car, his breath turned to mist. The building loomed before him, and shadows hinted at a struggle. He could see a figure darting from one apartment’s open window. Alarm bells rang in his mind as he sprinted toward the entrance, his eyes locked on the odd sight of a jolly figure, dressed in a bright red suit, complete with a fluffy white beard. “Santa?” he muttered incredulously as he reached the front door. The figure was, indeed, ho-ho-ho-ing a tune as it awkwardly climbed back through the vacant window, arms filled with gleaming, wrapped gifts. “Stop right there!” Joe shouted, having to stifle his laughter amid disbelief. The burglar paused as if surprised by the unplanned encounter. He turned to face Joe, fixing his eyes over the oversized spectacles perched on his nose and flashed a toothy grin. “Ho ho ho, I’m just spreading Christmas cheer, officer!” the man chirped, his smile utterly infectious despite the circumstances. Joe could scarcely contain his amusement as he reached for his radio. “Dispatch, this is Officer Donavan on the scene of a B&E,” he said, trying to keep his tone serious. “Can you check in with the North Pole PD? I need to know if they’ve had any reports of recently released burglars dressed as Santa Claus.” “Copy that, Officer Donavan,” came the equally amused response from dispatch. “We’ll put out an APB to Santa’s workshop. Do you need backup?” “Only if Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is nearby,” Joe quipped, raising an eyebrow at the jolly intruder, who still stood frozen like a deer—no, a reindeer—in headlights. “I’m telling you, I’ve got a list!” the Santa impersonator insisted, holding out a clipboard filled with names. “These are good kiddos! Gift delivery is my job!” “Delivery, sure,” Joe responded, suppressing a chuckle. “But this isn’t how we do Christmas in Chicago!” “Come on, Officer! Surely you believe in the spirit of Christmas?” the man exclaimed, arms outstretched. His cheeks flushed with excitement, but Joe noted the suspect’s hands were trembling slightly. “Listen, ‘Santa,’ there’s a difference between spreading holiday cheer and breaking into someone’s home. You can’t just waltz in through the window and claim you’re delivering! Maybe if you ask for a cookie and a glass of milk first…” “Okay, okay! I’m a little rustier than I thought—couldn’t find the chimney,” the faux Santa admitted sheepishly, shoving the gifts behind him. “I just wanted to make their Christmas special!” Before he could continue, the radio buzzed back to life, dispatch breaking through the laughter. “Officer Donavan, I think we might have a lead on our Santa burglar. We’re checking records now. Looks like he was released from state prison two weeks ago—” Joe cut her off, “I’ll take it as a Christmas miracle that I haven’t cuffed him yet. Let’s get a little creative here, shall we?” The gleeful chatter on the other end sputtered before quickly reforming into giggles too. “Sir, I’ll put out a bulletin on the holiday vigilante. We’ll issue him a warning!” “Got it,” Joe replied, turning back to his unexpected suspect still entertaining visions of sugarplums. “And what’s your name, ‘Santa’?” “Claus! Santa Claus!” the man beamed, puffing his chest out as if that was absolutely the right answer. Joe couldn’t help but laugh at the whole ridiculousness of the situation. Despite the crime the man had attempted—and frankly, Joe could see it had been mostly harmless—the officer felt the spirit of Christmas seep into his heart. “Alright, Santa Claus, here’s the deal. You give back the gifts, and I won’t take you to the slammer tonight.” The faux Santa’s eyes widened, and the posture of a defeated child filled his frame. “You mean…give them back? But they were meant for the kids! I was trying to make Christmas better, officer!” “Making it better, sure, but this is not the way to go about it. Two choices: return the gifts, or I’m putting you in the back of the squad car. Your call!” Joe offered, smirking. For a brief moment, silence filled the air, except for the soft crunch of snow beneath their feet. Then, Santa Claus sighed, “Okay, okay. I get it. You got me, officer. I’ll return the gifts. But can I at least take a selfie with you first? It might be the last Christmas I celebrate this year.” Joe chuckled and agreed. They snapped a picture with faux Santa holding the clipboard and Joe flashing a thumbs-up beside him. “Alright, buddy, now why don’t you put the gifts back where you found them? And please don’t pull a stunt like this again. Chicago’s not Santa’s workshop.” As Joe stood with dispatch, confirming the return of the wrapped gifts, he felt a warmth in his heart despite the cold night air. Maybe the world wasn’t so bleak after all; sometimes, even a simple encounter with a burglar dressed as Santa was enough to remind him of the joy and strangeness of the holiday season. As Officer Donavan drove off into the Chicago night, he couldn’t help but chuckle. Christmas cheer could sometimes appear in the oddest of forms, even dressed in red.