"Simmering Emotions"

My patience for my own jealousy was slipping, I knew it was, but I ignored it. It would soon break and I knew it would, but I ignored it, telling myself that I had everything under control when I knew I didn’t. I was at the Faze house with a couple of the others, hanging out in Lacy’s massive recording room. Jason was petting Lacy’s new dog Milo, who was propped up in Lacy’s lap. Jason looked adorable, his eyes wide as he baby talked the puppy. As I watched him, I felt a pang of jealousy. I tried to brush it off, but it only seemed to grow stronger. Jason was laughing and chatting with Lacy, completely carefree. I, on the other hand, was seething with emotions. I forced myself to calm down, to focus on the conversation, but my eyes kept drifting back to Jason. After some time of chatting and petting the dog, Jason was going to leave, but was lost in conversation as he was walking to the door. He stopped by a chair that was near the middle of the room from earlier and leaned over the arm of the chair slightly, almost being bent over the chair. The pose Jason was in sent electricity through my whole body, and I suppressed this emotion. I told myself I was just surprised by his awkwardness, but deep down, I knew it was more than that. As Jason was saying his goodbyes to Lacy, Ron went behind Jason and smacked Jason’s butt. Jason seemed unfazed, but I was mad. I was jealous. I knew my face showed this emotion based off of Lacy’s expression of confusion. I quickly masked my facial expression, but that didn’t mask my internal fire. Soon enough, Jason left and I soon followed, slowly following as Jason went upstairs and to his room. I slipped into Jason’s room as well, which automatically locks from the outside. I stood there for a moment, trying to calm myself down, but my heart was racing. I knew I had to get out of there, but my feet seemed rooted to the spot. I looked around Jason’s room, taking in the familiar surroundings. His bed was messy, with clothes scattered all over the floor. His desk was cluttered with gaming gear and papers. It was a typical Jason room, and I felt a pang of nostalgia. I had been in this room many times before, but it felt different now. It felt... intimate. I knew I had to leave, but I couldn’t seem to tear myself away. I was drawn to Jason, to the way he made me feel. I was scared of what might happen if I gave in to my emotions, but I was also scared of what might happen if I didn’t. For a moment, I just stood there, frozen in indecision. Then, I knew I had to get out of there before I did something I couldn’t take back. I turned to leave, but not before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes looked haunted, my face tense. I knew I had to get a grip, but I wasn’t sure if I could.