"The Princess, the Protector, and the Prickly Predicament"

Prompt: This story takes place in the universe of the legend of Zelda. The thing is Zelda has a princess from a neighboring kingdom visiting, but the two of them are not getting along because the visiting princess believes that a good personal protector should be someone with lots of very pointy physical features that would be painful to touch and also a good personal protector shouldn’t have a name that starts with the letter L and ends in the letter K and she’s listing various races in the kingdom that make good protectors, but Zelda only like one particular race as her protector, and she likes her protector as he is soft smooth And with the distinctive name that he has But the visiting princess makes it clear that she has a personal vendetta against anyone named link and against any race that is soft and smooth. Also, this story is full of over-the-top dialogue and things happening all the time.